Divorce Regrets

Are you kidding?

No I have no regrets. I've had the occasional meltdown (poor Tom gets to hear them) and most end with Tom saying, "Let me send you the 3-page list of reasons you left" That usually puts things back in perspective and I can move on.

For years I would look at both sides of the family and note that I was the only one that had managed to keep this together for so long. Now, I realize it was NOT something to be proud of and periodically wonder what damage I have done by staying as long as I did. (For the record, it was 30 years) So my only regret is that I didn't make this change earlier.

Thoughts from Mom

Years ago, shortly after dad died, mom stayed with us for while and one day she said to me, "My only wish for you was that you would be as happy in your marriage as I was." She continued to tell me that it was obvious that I was not happy. I dismissed her comments because I had just learned that I was pregnant with Tom.

She returned to Ohio a few months later and was overjoyed when I called her to tell her of his birth. She begged me to bring him to visit so she could hold him and see him, not just a bunch of photographs every few weeks. When Mom passed away, Tom was 7 months old and I quickly called the airlines to get us back to Ohio that day. The husband said, "I'm much to busy to make this trip, you'll have to go alone". Hmmmm. So I packed little Tom onto the plane and we took off.

I wasn't upset about going alone, but I was surprised that the emotional support was missing.

Mom was pretty smart, she was a great judge of character (see paragraph 1) and was pretty quick to offer her advice, comments, and criticism. I could those words of encouragement from her now.

Getting back on Track

With the divorce behind me and the ex (aka, Big Giant Head) slowly moving out of the picture I can get back to adding all your personal pictures and memories of Dad and others.

FYI - Big Giant Head (BGH) because I have a "friend" (giggle) that is also named Dan so this helps ease the confusion. In fact, we had a fun time at dinner last weekend with Tom and his girlfriend. Pics will NOT be shared at this time.

Anyway, thanks Carol for sending the pics of me at age 14, not sure anyone wants to see that.. I'll get those posted in the next couple of hours.

My Last Post...

... as a married woman. I had planned on a Dec 4th court date, but found out yesterday that I can get this over with today! YAY. If all goes as planned, today (December 2) will mark the beginning of a new life for me.

The "ex" or the "respondent" called yesterday to ask when I planned on scheduling the hearing because he wants to be there. (I'm thinking, why?) Something about he wants to make sure I don't pull a fast one. Should I tell him if he even tries to speak, he'll be hauled out by the bailiff(s)? Actually, don't have a problem with him being there, it saves me the hassle of sending him the final paperwork. So I called him this morning at 8am and left him a voice mail telling him the hearing is today. Yes, I probably should have told him earlier so he could dress appropriately. Maybe he'll wear his "I Love Hot Dogs T-Shirt"

I've had a great support network from family, friends, and co-workers who have offered suggestions for this moment in court....

1. Wear a T-shirt that says, "I was with stupid"
2. Dig out the wedding dress and wear that. (Not possible, I rented it. Which should have been an indication of the permanent portion of this venture)
3. Convince "ex" to pose for final photo, holding the divorce decree to add to the last page of wedding album.

Don't get me wrong, this wasn't all bad. There were a lot of good times associated with this marriage. I will post them when I can remember them.

Divorce News

I just noticed I haven't posted anything for six months. A lot has happened since then. For those of you who have not met Dan, it's probably better for you.

On October 2, 2008, I went to the Pima County Courthouse and filed for divorce. I took the him with me so I could serve the papers to him right there (cause he couldn't bear being put through that humiliation at work) whatever. So that done, the court requires that I give him 20 days to respond, he did not. On Day 21, I hauled back to the courthouse and filed the application for a default hearing at which time I had to deliver the application to him and give him an additional 10 business days (Nov 07) to respond to that. What's that about? He did not respond to that either. Next move, I wait for Day 61 (which is December 03), I call the courthouse to be put on the calendar for the next day.

For those of you keeping score, I'll be heading back to court on December 4th or 5th and plan on being free and clear on December 6th. Sort of my own little D-Day.

Celebration? Yes! Alcohol? You betcha! Freedom? Priceless

Thanks for the pics

Thanks for emailing my the pictures. Will have them on the site in a few days. Been too busy taking care of the divorce thing.

Need more pics

I've been trying find/scan pictures for the site so if you have some, email them to me at and I'll get them posted here.



I have a scanner and if you want to use snail mail, I will scan them and return them to you.

(Carol, go ahead and throw them in the envelope with my birthday card) :)



Larry - would love to have some of the Idaho pictures.